Mental Illness is Not Who We Are

by Kelly Wilson

Reprinted with permission of the author and the Quincy Herald-Whig newspaper of Quincy, Illinois.

At the age of 35, Connie Clark was told she’d never work again, that she’d be on medication the rest of her life, that she’d spend the rest of her days in an institution.

There was no hope.

She wanted to die.

“I was waiting for someone to fix me. When that didn’t happen, I gave up,” Clark said.

Fast forward 10 years.

Clark has a master’s degree and works as a mental health professional. She still struggles occasionally and continues to receive therapy. But now she embraces life and fills others with hope.

“Mental illness is not a death sentence,” she says. “We can have a life and mental illness is not who we are.”

On Thursday (April 22, 2004), Clark told her personal story of recovery and hope to more than 80 people who gathered at the Blessing Conference Center for a seminar. Her goal, and the goal of the other presenters, was to encourage mental health consumers to tell their own stories -- to legislators, to schools, to the public at large.

“Consumers need to get their message out to anyone who will listen,” Clark said. “It’s important because they have lived it and they have demonstrated they have chosen life rather than giving up.”

Clark is a consumer services specialist for the Department of Human Services Division for the Greater Illinois Central Region. She was joined at the seminar by Nanette Larson, Director of Consumer Services Development for the Division of Mental Health, Chuck Johnson, Psychiatric Services Coordinator at Blessing Hospital and several people who have received mental health services.

They gave tips on how to overcome fears of public speaking, how to manage stress during presentations, and how to talk to legislators and testify at legislative hearings.

“Some of you are saying, ‘But I’m not an expert.’ You don’t have to be an expert. When you speak from your heart, that is an effective tool,” Clark said.

“You’re educating. You’re demonstrating there is hope. You are effectively communicating. You are taking responsibility for making changes in the way they view mental health.”

“You have the power to do that.”

Clark says mental health consumers need to get to know their legislators and their staffs, and be willing to testify at hearings.

“If no one comes to testify, the legislators have an excuse to kill the legislation,” Clark said. “Get out there and speak up. Let the audience know what it’s like to live in your shoes. Your story is your power.”

Clark’s story begins at age nine, when her father became ill and she became his caretaker. She was forced to take on adult responsibilities at a young age, and also dealt with the trauma of sexual, mental and physical abuse.

When she was old enough to go to college, she got her bachelor’s degree and became a teacher. But she started to isolate herself and began losing weight. She struggled with depression and was a self-injurer.

In 1989, at the age of 29, she was diagnosed with a “major mental illness.” Six years and several hospitalizations later, she was given no hope of getting better.

She was lucky to have people in her life who believed in her and encouraged her to go back to school.

“The turnaround for me was people saying, ‘I believe in you. You are a person. You are more than a mental illness,’” Clark said. “I still receive therapy on a weekly basis, and I know there are times when I crash and burn. But I know what I need to do to get back out into the world.”

In her role as a mental health professional, Clark uses her own story to empower others.

“I go in and say, ‘there is hope.’”