Forging Ahead

by Karen E. Sutton

Forging Ahead means to me to bring something into being by combining all of my coping skills. Ahead means to proceed in getting better within your time.

I had a setback with borderline personality recently. I burned myself with a cigarette because I was feeling angry with other people as well as myself. There have been times when someone says something negative to me and I get anxious and my self-esteem drops. I start to believe the statement, can’t get rid of the thought and end up harming myself. I felt inside that my coping skills were useless and I felt like I didn’t need them anymore. After talking to my therapist and case manager and thinking it over myself, I realized how important my coping skills are to me and how important it is to use them.

Sometimes when I have difficulties they can help me to gain insight and self-awareness about myself. I can help myself get better, improve my use of coping skills and learn new ones.

The one thing I have learned with my coping skills is that I am only hurting myself. Moreover, I am learning to change my negative behavior into positive behavior. I especially need to work on my self-awareness and assertiveness. Another positive thing I do is take a walk every day to help lose weight, clear my thoughts and reduce stress or anxiety. I walk whether I’m having a good day or bad day.

I finally started writing in my journal and my adult behavior positive list. Writing in my journal helps to relieve any emotions or feelings that I need to express. Moreover I started using my coping skills that I am proud of.

I am speaking for myself that it is hard to cope with the symptoms of borderline personality disorder and manic-depression. I have to keep taking care of myself. I must take my medication correctly and use my coping skills. In my heart I know I must use my coping skills to help me get better and stronger. My therapist and case manager are there to help me, but I’m the one who must keep working on it.

I keep myself busy by watching funny TV and movies. I keep drawing to express my feelings and emotions. Drawing is like writing in my journal. I feel much better doing things that are positive for me. I have to keep putting aside time for myself when I am at home. Sometimes I sleep too much and that is not healthy for me at all.

I have been going to continuing day treatment for almost two years. I’ve seen a lot of improvement in myself. My therapist or case manager always reminds me how I have improved. My friends are always there to cheer me up. It makes me feel good inside when I remember how far I have come in my recovery.

Going to continuing day treatment, talking to my therapist, case manager and friends at the program has helped me. They are my support system and have helped me to realize I still have issues to work on. I will do it myself.

From my heart to yours, please remember that it is very important to take care of yourself, think positively about yourself, use any coping skills you may have, and do whatever you can to help yourself, no matter what mental illness you may have. I will do the same. Please remember that we do count and we deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Be Your Own Best Friend! Always Love Yourself!