There are a variety of techniques that can be used to establish a solid rapport with the resistant adolescent in counseling. At times, this age group is very difficult to counsel, and many counseling professionals choose not to serve this population. However, as school psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers, we do not have the luxury of picking our students or specific populations to counsel.

Many works and citations have been written about the active engaging phase of counseling with resistant adolescents. What should or shouldn’t be done in combating resistance continues to be debated. The research methodology has been helpful in establishing a concrete baseline, but there is no replacement for practical experience.

There are many variables which contribute to the mind set of an adolescent being resistant to counseling. The most common include the stigma of mental health services, the perception of therapy as parental punishment, the perception of the therapist as being aligned with parents, the notion that the problem belongs to parents and not the teenager, the fear of peer ridicule, the fear parents will punish the teen at home for what is said in session, the fear of revealing family secrets and discussing sensitive issues, the need to "protect" the family from disconcerting change, and the loss of time better spent with other activities.

The antecedents of resistance with the adolescent in counseling can best be described by the basic forms of resistance as defined by Sherwood (1998). The first is the Narcissistic Resistant Adolescent who is focused on himself and feels that the therapist is a waste of time.

The second type is the Masochistic Adolescent who is typically female and has been, in the majority of cases, physically abused or raped. At the very least, this adolescent is taken advantage of by friends. This individual’s intentions are to be degraded, and it is questionable whether the adolescent will let the therapist be of help in this venture. Masochistic adolescents invite the counselor to make helpful suggestions about what would solve their problems, but then sabotage the process with encouraging demeaning outcomes or solutions.

Third is the Paranoid Adolescent whose interactions are built around mistrust, cynicism, bitterness and anger. They accuse others of intending some unfair treatment, and then use the suspected injustice as an excuse for their own deviant behavior.

Fourth is the Schizoid Adolescent. Many of these adolescents have histories of antisocial behavior, including violence in sessions. They tend to be quiet and remote. The specific word to describe this type of individual is passive. This adolescent wants to be left alone in counseling. Any attempt at verbal interaction will be tuned out. If you as the psychologist have any type of impact, you won’t know it.

Lastly, is the Affective Lability Adolescent. This adolescent feels attached to someone else, and the attachment must be such that he can feel relieved of the burden of individuality. This adolescent fears that if you begin to help him, you will no longer have a need to see him, and the adolescent will not feel wanted or needed. Hence he may terminate therapy before that happens by moving on. Consequently, the relationship might end if the patient, in this case the student, takes any step towards competence. When faced with a loss of a relationship, these adolescents often hurt themselves as a way of coercing others to resume closeness.

Knowing what type of resistant adolescent you encounter is not enough for success. Perhaps the most difficult phase occurs in establishing rapport. We all have encountered that moment of truth when within the first five minutes we either connect or disconnect. The adage "first impressions are lasting" should be a credo above each and every mental health professional’s door.

My own philosophy with this rapport phrase is taken from a Chinese proverb, "Some things can be sensed but not explained." Being intuitive is a gift. Knowing what or what not to say can be the factor in whether or not effective rapport and counseling will occur.

This is my specific blueprint which I freely share, and encourage you to adopt any of these techniques that you might find useful in your own school or practice.

The first technique is that of humor. Humor taps emotions by either easing tension/anxiety or creating the fulcrum for dialogue. You may remember the movie Good Will Hunting with Robin Williams and Matt Damon. Robin Williams is a psychologist who helps Matt Damon, a genius who has gotten in trouble with the law, and has gone through several therapists/psychologists with no avail.

In one poignant scene of rapport building, we view a humorous dialogue that occurs between Williams and Damon in which Williams reveals that his wife used to get nervous when she passed gas. You witness the humor as a vehicle to create a bond between the two and also begin to see the dynamic of transference and countertransference occurring. Further, humor channels these emotions toward a positive effect. It facilitates that which we do as psychologists. It creates pathways to problem solve, to develop as an individual, and to know you are alive.

Humor can create certain misconceptions with people. When using humor, you are not a stand-up comedian. The humor is spontaneous so that both parties can appreciate it. Research indicates children laugh about 400 times a day while adults laugh perhaps 15 times a day.

The second technique is establishing and building trust boundaries. Adolescents are suspicious by nature, but if rapport has been established, and you guide them through the confidentiality process, productive counseling can and will occur. Typically, the adolescent when establishing trust, will at first let out little vignettes to see what you will do with that information. If you will, it’s a test, if you pass, more information will be forthcoming. Once the trust boundary has been established, there is very little you can say to upset them.

Third is utilizing the skill of effective listening. Various barriers and defenses on the counselor’s part can be present with the first initial sessions of meeting the adolescent. Having a set agenda and trying to think ahead sometimes prevents the effective listening from happening, thereby creating misunderstanding or having the adolescent perceive that you are not engaged in the process. How many times have we heard, "you’re not listening to me" or "you’re missing my point." Techniques to combat this are repeating statements or asking clarifying statements such as "so what you’re saying is" or "if I am hearing what you said correctly, you said."

The technique of mirroring the client/student is an effective tool especially when dealing with violent or hard to handle adolescents. The subtleness of mirroring their body language begins to establish what I call nonverbal rapport. Many a time this psychologist has encountered that resistant hostile youth, and by mirroring them, has begun to break down the doors of resistance. In my experience working in prison with various youths, posture and not maintaining eye contact were key to their willingness to open up, and vent at first their initial response to the problem or situation occurring, thus giving the psychologist valuable information for treatment to occur.

Fifth is being supportive, but not losing objectivity in the process. At times being apathetic and empathetic are appropriate, but if utilized too much, the resistant adolescent may see you as a bleeding heart and perceive your kindness as a sign of weakness that can be exploited for further resistance or manipulation.

The sixth technique is being loyal. This must be carefully explored. Is it crucial to be loyal to yourself, to your client, or both? Loyalty is a two way street and the resistant client is quick in determining where your loyalties lay. Do you side with him, the parent, the teacher, or the administrator? These perceptions will either create the necessary facilitation to occur or retard the process requiring further "rapport sessions" to occur.

Along with this loyalty is my last tenet of being true to yourself. Each morning you have to be the judge within yourself, as to whether or not you have sold out from some outside pressure. Examples could include administrative, parental, or client pressure.

Milton Erickson had a really insightful quote, "Too may therapists take their clients out to a psychotherapeutic dinner and tell them what to order. I take them out to dinner and say, ‘you give your order.’" You have to guide the adolescent with probing questions and self-exploration. In my office, all of the adolescents I deal with know that I do not have the answer to their concerns or problems, but rather they do. Only they can decide what the solution or answer is to their own situation.

Two specific theories that I personally incorporate into my counseling technique are from Rogers and Glasser. The resistant adolescent is generating a message of some sort. "I am uncomfortable with this," "I don’t like this," "I don’t want to be here." Rogers believed that resistance was encoded, and that we had to actively listen to the student’s language for an opening to occur to combat or diffuse this resistance.

He further believed that there was a constant struggle between negative feelings and positive feelings. He believed that if positive feelings could prevail then the six steps for problem solving would occur as follows: (1) defining the problem; (2) Generating possible solutions (3)(4) evaluating and deciding on solutions; (5)(6)implementing and evaluating solutions.

Glasser’s Reality Theory directly confronts the adolescent in the throws of resistance. Specifically, (1) what are you doing? (2) what are the rules of counseling? (3) in what way is your behavior helping or hurting you? and (4) what is your plan?

In closing, I believe that in the majority of case scenarios, the resistant adolescent can be dealt with in an effective manner. Once the walls of resistance begin to crumble, you can begin to work on achieving compliance through creating a positive relationship by being friendly, displaying interest in the young person, being flexible in your management plan and empowering the adolescent with guidance.

Sherwood V. (1998) Getting Past Resistance in Psychotherapy with the Out-of-Control Adolescent. New Jersey: Jason Aronson