At a recent conference I attended, I heard Andrew Solomon discuss his book Noonday Demon. He addressed depression among different cultures around the world. What he shared with us was a discovery he made in Cambodia. During the 1970's, the Khmer Rouge killed more than 20 per cent of the country’s people. They targeted people who were educated or literate. He met one woman in a detention camp after the war who had survived incredible trauma as had all the others. A member of her family had been killed in front of her. She had escaped with her seven year old son. Although she was literate, she was able to hide that fact from the authorities. When she arrived at the camp, women were sitting alone not speaking, some not even eating. These were the survivors of a most horrible war. They could not function anymore.

She sat with them for a long time and decided she had to do something. She created a three step plan. The first was teaching them to forget. She sat for hours and listened to their stories. She would then distract them with music, embroidery or weaving, concerts or an occasional hour of television. After they had begun to learn forgetfulness, she would teach them to work. They cleaned their tents, washed their clothes, prepared meals, took care of the children, all familiar tasks. They learned to do these things well and have pride in them. Then she taught them to love. She surprised everyone by training them to give each other pedicures and manicures! The author wanted to know more about this. Why pedicures and manicures? Well, she said, "When people touch each other, they can begin to develop trust again." It rescues them from physical isolation that leads to the breakdown of the emotional isolation. They learn how to make friends. That is exactly what happened. These women would never forget the horrors they had witnessed, but they could at least begin to laugh every once in a while, share experiences and get to know each other. The final step was teaching them that these three skills, forgetting, working and loving are not separate but part of one enormous whole that makes a difference so they could be ready to go into the world again.

Oddly enough I saw a movie last night about another program initiated in a women’s prison. A young nun who had experienced a severely traumatic childhood and teenage years designed a program for selected inmates to train dogs for disabled people. With much resistance from prison officials, she persisted and found three candidates. In nine months, they learned to get the trust of the dogs, teach them simple commands and train them to open doors, turn on lights, and even get clothes out of the dryer. Each inmate was assigned to one dog who stayed with her in her cell. One inmate who was serving a life sentence was the focus of the movie. She was numb from all the trauma she had experienced in her life. Slowly but surely, she began to confide in the sister as they shared their stories.

By the end of the nine months, the three women had trained their dogs and passed them on to three disabled people. They took pride in their work and were able to reclaim some sense of purpose. One of the inmates described the experience as finding freedom within the walls. From an addicted and hardened woman, she gradually started to reach out to support not only the other participants but also the group leader. She finally consented to a visit with her son. The epilogue mentioned that this program was expanded to other prisons and became one of the most successful prison therapy programs in the country.

What does this say about therapy that works for people who have experienced deep trauma? Can hard work and touching make such a difference in people’s lives? These women were not professional psychologists or therapists. They were people who had experienced the problem and found a way out. When the sister was asked why she pushed so hard for the program, she said because it had rescued somebody (referring to herself.) Each program started with one person reaching out to another person. This human connection can seem to make a world of difference.