My friends and relatives have often said, "Boy, I thought I had it bad, and my life stinks. Then I look at you. You need a life." Then they turn around and say, "I wish I were single like you, free and able to go anywhere, eat anything, come home and take a nap, and do whatever I feel like doing."

In reality, I avoid eating with people because I am a clumsy and messy eater; my prism glasses and diabetically numb fingers cause this inconvenience. I would like to get to know my peers better over lunch, but I am too embarrassed to set up lunch with the group. Not only that, but I have to eat a diabetic diet and time it with my dropping blood sugar level, putting my lunch time half an hour earlier than when others usually eat lunch.

I rarely can attend a movie, a party, or a church group because my diabetes and my medication puts me to sleep as early as 7:00 PM, and I wake up at 5:00 AM. There are long stretches of time in which I cannot call or visit with anyone I know. I spend this lonely time putting together music for my performances at nursing homes, working on my correspondence, cleaning the apartment, and writing. I have no interest in pets, other people’s children, football games, bowling, or shopping in malls. When I return to the office on Monday, I have little to report, even though my hours were filled and enjoyed at home.

Volunteering fills the gap. My COMPEER friend is a joy to talk to each day, and she says I am a good phone companion. Some would feel uncomfortable reaching out in friendship to a person they have never met, but to me it is a special experience. Some have said they would shy away from the nursing homes, because of the unpleasant odors they would find there. After experiencing such things years ago in institutions and group homes, I can relate to this. But when I get involved in making music and having fellowship with these special people, I do not even notice the immediate surroundings in which the elderly residents reside. The idea is to bring an afternoon of music to the elderly or ill. It perks me up, as well.

So don’t wrinkle your nose at me. Your face might freeze that way.