One goal I have is to maintain a stable mental health. I will be using my coping skills by taking my medication at the correct time because I have missed some doses which is not good. I have noticed some of my symptoms starting to reappear. At the time I slipped back and burned my wrist with a cigarette. I felt angry and was feeling depressed. I wanted to relieve the pain I was feeling inside. I didn’t know how to express my feelings and put a name on the emotions I was feeling at that time. I am still writing in my journal.

I am the only one who has a choice whether to do self-harm or to use my coping skills. I have to be a "manager of my own illness" and to be in "control of my own behavior." I have learned a lot through this experience, but it’s not easy. I know that working with this disorder will take a lot of work. I have a strong understanding support system which helps me. I work with my therapist. I am still keeping myself busy and active.

I take my medication and always wear a rubber band around my wrist in case I feel like I am going to burn my wrist with a cigarette. I pull it and let go or put ice cubes on my wrist to release the emotional pain that I am feeling inside which does help me a lot. When I write in my journal, it helps me to express any emotions or feelings that I am dealing with

I take art therapy at the Continuing Day Treatment program in Lockport. What I paint is whatever comes to my mind. It’s a different way to express my emotions or feelings that I put on paper. It’s relaxing and gives me chance to be creative in a different way. It makes me feel good inside to write for Mental Health World about what I am going through with my illnesses.

I finally put my coping skills for Borderline Personality Disorder on their own separate index cards. I carry them around all the time. They help me when I feel stressed out or have the urge to hurt myself, which I have not done in a while. I made a new medication reminder chart that I put on my refrigerator so that I take my medication at the correct time. I put a check mark near it. It’s helping me to remember. I don’t want to forget them, because it really helps me to stay stable and to keep the symptoms under control, even for Manic-Depression.

I am starting to get back into outside activities, like Compeer’s program in Lockport. I know it will help me a lot so I won’t be sitting home all the time. It’s not healthy to do that, because I need to be around friends. I still keep myself busy in other ways that are also helpful to me. I have noticed that my sleeping pattern hasn’t changed, but I am the only one who can change that pattern around.

I know once the weather gets nicer outside, I will start walking again because it helps me to clear my mind and thoughts as well as relieve stress. It’s good exercise as well. I started doing ceramics at Continuing Day Treatment Program in Lockport and I enjoy it. The program has helped me a lot by meeting new people and making new friends.

Staying active and doing things that I enjoy doing helps build up my self esteem. There are times that I enjoy being by myself and doing whatever I want to do, but I also enjoy being around other people and making new friends. Do whatever you enjoy doing, whether it’s drawing, painting, ceramics or writing in a journal. All of these and many more activities can help improve your self esteem. Listening to a relaxation tape will help you to relieve any stress you may be under. This is coming from my heart to yours.

If anyone is dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder, please remember you are not alone and I do understand what you are going through. Even though my goal is small, it’s a start and it’s important to me. Please remember to make your mental illness an important priority in your life. Be around good positive people. Friends will help you. I am doing the same thing. Always love yourself and take care of yourself. I will do the same thing.