I have suffered many years with depression, but I believe that the year 2000 was just about the worst year I have lived through. To begin with, I was born with Ehler’s Danlos syndrome which has caused me much pain and suffering throughout my life. At birth, my life expectancy was 40 years. I have almost doubled that, so it shows that statistics aren’t always right. To make matters worse, my husband of 59 years has been handicapped since 1961. Also, my only son is mentally and physically handicapped, and I haven’t seen him in almost 18 years. Last year he was thrown into a fire at a pig roast and burned very badly and now I don’t know where he is.

Last year my husband broke his hip and as soon as he returned from surgery, the professionals judged me incapable of caring for him at home so they started the brainwashing in earnest. Immediately the social worker told me that my husband would have to go to the nursing home for rehab. This seemed ok on the surface, but when I read the form I was to sign and the other information she gave me, I knew that in my husband’s case, the stay in the nursing home would be permanent. We have spent too much time in the hospitals and doctors’ offices not to have learned how they operate. The brainwashing went on for two weeks by the medical doctors, social workers, some friends and even some family. In the meantime, my health, both physical and mental, was deteriorating . Had my doctor known I was suffering from depression, I’m sure he would have had me sworn incompetent and had his way. He said some terribly cruel things to me and had me doubting my own ability. Truthfully, after two weeks of their cruelty, I really wasn’t capable, but we had been through so much in our long marriage, I knew we would survive. We did through two more hospital stays and numerous other problems.

I couldn’t have made it without the support of many people, my family, some friends, my pastor and his wife, our wonderful friends at Housing Options in Gowanda and my wonderful pain management doctor, Dr. Crosby, who was willing to speak to my doctor about his unprofessionalism in treating me so mean and trying to take away my right to decide for my husband and myself. She said even if it was a bad decision, I had the right to make it. I also appreciate how my mental health counselor helped me through that terrible period and is helping me with this terrible sadness and depression.

After my husband came home, the harassment didn’t stop. Before it was all over, we asked two people, who were supposed to help my husband, to leave our home.

I am 77 years old and that is the only thing they know about me and yet they judged my abilities on my age alone. That is so unfair. No, life isn’t fair but my doctor knows how much I have suffered because of Ehler’s Danlos and that I have lost over 50% of my sight. He was ruthless in trying to bend me to his will. I think he has found out that I do bend but I don’t break. I hope I am making the road a little less rough for the next elderly person who has to battle for his rights. Thanks to the wonderful people who supported me and continue to do so.