I have made a New Year’s resolution that will be a real challenge. I resolve to turn to friends and family before calling a crisis line whenever I get nervous, angry, or out of control in a hissy fit.

At first, I thought that I was a Mental Patient Wanna-Be. I could dial those hotline numbers more quickly than I could hit the speed dial. No counselors found my emotions much stronger than those of any other human being, including their own busy selves. Each call brought the risk of needless intervention or the risk of being rejected. Why was I hitting on the crisis lines and abusing myself, as well as the hotlines?

The habit of calling crisis lines escalated to talking in the middle of the night, at breakfast, after coming home from work, after supper, and at bedtime. Yet, I was functioning in the top 1 per cent of patients with my diagnosis.

Tonight, New Year’s Eve, I made another lonely call to the Help Service. I was angry, isolated, frustrated and mad, even though I had a wonderful day. The counselor on the other end of the phone hung up on me, saying that I lacked a real crisis situation. In a fury, I called him back, demanding to be allowed to vent my feelings.

Suddenly, he asked me why I didn’t call my friends or families when I had feelings to express. I replied that I tried to be there for them, while not wanting to burden them with my own problems. Then he said, "What would happen if you asked your friends and family to listen to you as you do for them?"

I told him that it was worth a try, and I hung up the phone. I experienced a real sense of peace of mind. I called my sister, and we had warm talk for a few minutes. Suddenly, we were peers, humans with shared emotions. I remained calm for the rest of the evening and made a few calls to loved ones. Could it be that I was already making strides toward healing?

I will not expect perfection from myself. But I could not let this evening go by without writing about what I think it is good step forward.