I was born in a small rural community in Northern Canada. As a child, my life was relatively normal. Then when I was eleven, my family's house and business were destroyed in a fire. Everything we owned was lost. We were forced to begin living in a new place. Due to my shyness, I did not make any friends. Almost all my teenage years were spent at home with very few social activities. After finishing high school I was certified to a mental hospital and diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic.

I attended the University of Saskatchewan for nine years in the late 1980's and early 1990's. Later, I became interested in computers. I have taken computer courses with schools all over the world. I am a member of the Canadian Mental Health Association and attend such C.M.H.A. activities as a writer's association and an art society. At the present time my health has stabilized and life is quite enjoyable.

My clearest remembrances are those of my first eleven years of life. During these times, I was living in my little hometown in the northern part of the agricultural area of Saskatchewan in a fairly good state of mental health. I enjoyed watching the dandelions turn yellow and the grass turn green in spring, seeing the snow coming down on a winter's night, and going to the "old swimming hole" for a swim on a hot summer's day. I liked watching the graveling of the streets of my town, listening to the meadow larks early in the year, going to an abandoned building close to my house and finding robin's eggs. I took part in the annual school Christmas concert at the local hall and in the church concert in the little church where I remember regularly attending Sunday School, freezing my feet in minus forty degree weather as only a child could and in general enjoying life.

Then suddenly one warm Saturday night in 1959, a tragedy struck my life. The neighbor's home caught fire and it spread and burnt down our house and store. By midnight I remember looking at a pile of ashes that had been my home. Later that year my family moved to a

different town. The first year or two was fine and then things started to go wrong. I began to hallucinate and suffer delusions. At the age of 19 I was arrested off the street, taken to jail, and forcibly confined to a mental hospital as a danger to society. I was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. After I came out of the institution, life was fun on and off. I had a couple more mental breakdowns after that and more hospitalizations. Over the years my health has waxed and waned but never remained stable longer than for short periods of time. My happy times range from traveling from Quebec to British Colombia to Mexico and my bad times include problem drinking.

I am now middle aged and yesterday, my psychiatrist gave me encouragement to find a job. I still look toward the future with an optimistic attitude even the closing days of my life when death approaches I am not a capital letter Atheist nor a capital letter Christian. Therefore I am not certain what will happen after death. However, because of my Christian upbringing as a child, I am hoping there is a God and a life after death. I feel that there is a higher power in the universe. I want to believe that there is more to life than simply living for 70 years and then disappearing into infinity forever. After all, forever is a long time!